Sunflower's Field

( My Interests Collage! )

Create your own! Originally Written By ga_woo, Hosted and ReWritten by darkman424

Ok:
I got over getting cut from the RA process 2 weeks ago. I thought I was good and I have been working on my J-board application. But then tonight I find out that the ONE FUCKING PERSON that I thought would not get a position actually got one. She walks around with a stick up her ass and the more power she gets the more condsending she becomes. So how in the hell did she get an RA position? Why is she better for the job then I am? What am I doing wrong????? AHHHHHHHH!

Alright, I am done venting...Im gonna go do my homework.
Gwen

Current Mood: frustrated

Why is it that when ever I get off the phone with my family, I feel like crying?

Well third time I guess is not the charm. I got cut after the group interview but I guess that what was ment to be is...well exactly that: ment to be.

I am not gonna dwell on it, I am looking forward to the Judicial Board application. *imagines Getting Trae's job...mmmmmm*

Thats all
Ta!
Gwen

Current Mood: determined
Current Music: The chronicles of Narnia

http://kevan.org/johari?name=snflwrintherain

Well...I feeel the need to think...I'm allowed right? If not too damn bad!

I wonder how I got to this place in my life, I've lost so many people in my life. Not only because of fights and what not...but because we just grew apart. WHy is that? Why the hell do I have to grow apart from some of the few people that I feel comfertable around. People who saw me as who I really am ...not the invented person I became in high school.

WHy is it that I can apply all I want to be an RA and I still cant get it? twice now and still nothing...I'm so desperate to stay here and finish out my degrees here that I am willing to leave Oak Ridge (a place I feel comfertable in) just to get an RA job. I dont even know what the fuck to say now.

WHy is it that I can be a secratary but not the chair? I am doing his fucking job right now and yet I still cant have that job. If I could choose I would take the chair job in a heart beat. I dont know why...but I just seem to be good on the board. I have found people who make me laugh and make me feel comfertable about being in my own skin.

Why is it that I have family memebrs that support me wholeheartedly to my face but the second I turn around they are questioning my motives, reminding me that teachers dont make a whole lot of money (no shit sherlock), and all around that I really have to love what I am teaching in order to be a sucessful teacher (thank you captain obvious!)

And why is it that I can be happy about my decisions about what I am doing with my life and then one thing sends me back to questioning what I am doing, believe in, everything about my life.

My Hall Director told me that I should make it so that getting an RA job isnt about the money but to tell you the truth...it is in a very small part...about the money! I do think that I would be an amazing RA...I mean I have all the qualifications...but in the back of my head I keep reminding myself that over the summer I will be able to actually have fun if I manage to get an RA job or get the Chair Person's job.

Im gonna get to bed...night

Current Mood: Questioning
Current Music: Walk the line

HA! I finally was able to find an article supporting my point. I emailed it to my aunt this evening...I still havent called her as requested...but I am going to get over the anger that I have towards her...is that wrong? Even if it is I dont care...I dont want to talk to her right now.

I feel so much better! Thats all I had...Night all!


( If you were wondering )

Current Mood: relieved
Current Music: Conan O'Brien

First week of classes are over and done with,
Classes are going to be fun, difficult but fun
Roommate is still good-I got SO lucky with her


Family on the other hand...
Since I was 8 years old I have wanted to be a teacher, I mean...its been so long I cant see myself doing anything else. Any ways my Aunt (who is also a teacher...librian to be exact) has always been at my back. But now that she is haveing a little trouble with her district she is trying to convinse my mom that I am in the wrong profession and that I need career counseling. Now this would hurt so much if it came from anyone else but her. And the fact that she is trying to convince my Mom that I amde the wrong choice after she (my Mom) has JUST come to the conclusion that I am in the perfect place for me.

Thats all I have to say...night

Ok...I'm at work and my roomie came out and showed me her flower and told me that there is a lot of dirt on our floor. She takes the vaccum and is told to return it by an RA. Well...I decided that I wasnt going to let dirt sit on our floor till 6 pm at night when we could use the vaccum, we went and cleaned up the dirt(which took all of 2 minutes) and returned the vaccum. After which the same RA that told her to bring the vaccum back came out and started lecturing me about not checking out vaccums, when I told her the situation she explained to me that I had to wait till 6 or sweep it up. How redundant is that? Sweeping dirt off a carpet even if you are skilled at it means most of it will be ground into the carpet. But she doesnt know that we already cleaned it up and brought the vaccum back. Because if she did we would have been written up for quiet hours vilations and I would be meeting with Deb about my job. I cant wait to go home!!!!!!!

Severus Snape
You clearly do not scare easily. You want a man
who is sharp, intellectual, cultured, and not
too mushy. Get underneath his cool, sarcastic
exterior and who knows what treasures you might
find.


Who is your Harry Potter love match? (for girls)
brought to you by Quizilla

I am so over everything...after a horrible Thanksgiving break, I am ready for everything to be over with. All I want to go home and work...thats it.

Current Mood: crappy

is just around the corner and instead of feeling excited about going home...I'm depressed. This year I am spending Thanksgiving alone. My family is going to Florida on friday and they wont be back till the Sunday I leave to come back up. I know my Mom said that I could skip class to come but...I have a test on Wednesday and I cant miss 7 classes...and I was ok but the more I hear people talk about going home and having a family thanksgiving the more I hurt. I see the TV shows and the Thanksgiving specials and it hurts to see them.
I guess thats it,
Gwen